A decent night’s sleep changes almost any perspective – so do the words of a friend who understands the pain, but also foresees the repercussions. My thoughts were validated, my hurt feelings embraced, then my desire to reciprocate pain were nullified, because, well…. Just because. So many reasons I won’t talk about, but living in the world that I do, reacting with harsh words would sink me down to his level and that doesn’t need to happen.
My surge of energy last night, which faded quickly as I waited in line at 8:45 in Home Depot – all of the available registers closed early for unknown reasons – had resulted in kitchen herbs, soil, and a gallon of Whiplash red pain (I was feeling Metallica). I had planted the herbs late last night while waiting for Maggie to be picked up for a spur-of-the-moment friend date so this morning all that remained was painting the bookshelf. Clearing the shelves of all the classic novels was easy, wiping the dust away – easy. What was not so easy was painting the bookshelf. I always forget how there are lines left – fingernail scratches from the brush’s bristles as if fighting the union of paint and furniture piece. Three coats were good enough and finally I had a piece that popped.
But damn, I was so tired. I am done emotionally and edibly. Maggie brought home cake and pie she made, I had a hamburger at some place while waiting to grill ribs and my body is angry with me. Tomorrow we begin a new journey to decent food, minus sugar, dairy, grains, and legumes. We have 20 days til Mexico and I am getting a damn bikini. I napped for 15 minutes, then tried again (more successfully) later.
Messaging with my Hips sister Michelle as I sit in my car waiting for my girl to arrive. Suddenly, without any prompting, “Protein Sky” comes on. Michelle and I have been talking about intentions and I look at this as some kind of divine intervention. Today has been a day segmented into many parts; at the end of the day I realized last night’s written actions have been in vain because they wouldn’t accomplish anything: I’m a hurt girl, from a nothing relationship who resents the actions of a high school boy. It’s time to grow up.
So, fuck you.
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