I needed to bring my son a Chipotle burrito at 8:30 last night – up to the adventure trip at Sly Park (because there was allegedly only half a hotdog and 5 potato chips for his dinner and he was hungry). He “let me know” of his hunger <this means he texted me even though he isn’t supposed to have his phone with him – SHHHH!!!>, saying I could just drop by to “check in” and the n happen to drop off leftovers…as if that sounds like something I am going to 
do. I’d spent the whole day sick in bed, so the last thing on my to-do list was to pop up the hill to Sly Park with food. He wouldn’t die. Then he called from the school cell-phone, the Big Guns, so I headed to Chipotle. The car – of course – was out of gas, and the gas station next to Chipotle was shut down, so I picked up the and headed to the next station – which wouldn’t accept my credit card. I found a third gas station, filled up and drove up the lake. The instructions he gave me to find his camp site were horrible, soon I was driving around an empty campsite in the gloaming, almost into the lake, frustrated as hell. Eventually, I foundhim and dropped off the food. I don’t know what the whole story was, if they really did, in fact, run out of food, I just knew I felt miserable and wanted to get home.
It came on hard and strong last night, so I doused it with some Nyquil and decongestant. I feel asleep and dozed deeply – waking up at 5:47, my later-set alarm clock. I felt much better – so much so that I put on my white fancy pants –and headed to work.
And, as naturally as if I’d seen him 2 days ago (it had been over a year), I saw Mike – the man with a gazillion years of recovery who gives me my sobriety chips. It is GOOD to see an old friend, especially one like him. This man was my connection to the program while I was in grads school, working and raising kids. He carries the message to prison, which was something I loved doing. Maybe once life gets a little more “in sync” I can start going back to H&I.
It was such an honor today to get to support a colleague when El Dorado County Board of Supervisors proclaimed June to be LGBT month (!!!). I know, right? El Dorado County did that. I was very proud and impressed.
A colleague – my friend Shawn – gave me a good talking to today. It is the second such good-talking-to I have received in 2 weeks, the last one being from Queenie – who talked to me about the impact of falling in love with self. Today Shawn talked to me about getting out there, being in the now – not worrying about what is around the corner, but staying present. She talked to me about what I have been blessed with, my eyes, my face, my body and to love it, love myself, to take myself out. She told me to show those curves and to have fun with those men –it wasn’t about the maybe, but about the right now. I sure wish I had a better memory to recall her words exactly, but my-oh-my yes. It is time to get out of this comfort zone and start being ALIVE. And no. That doesn’t mean sex. I’ll continue this part tomorrow….
Picture: My view as I was lost driving through campsites last night, looking for a starving Boy-child.
tribeoftrio.com 