In each relationship, in each of the many points in our lives, we are given the opportunity to become aware and open to new things. Many times – actually more often than no
t, we miss these chances of seeing from a new perspective because it is difficult to open one’s self up to vulnerability. Being this way, open and raw, is tough: it means admitting one’s shortcomings, what we did wrong, where we can improve. It means taking responsibility. I willingly (and usually very gratefully) do that. Sometimes though, I really hate that shit. But oh, man, am I learning so much from my sisters. I have a group of women – all in different “tribes”, yet I connect with them in such an amazing way, each one bringing an entirely different lesson to my table.
From one, I am learning about the art of freedom – about not being bound to what society says “should” be done – I must do what is right for me. From another, I am learning how to communicate – how to state exactly what I think and feel so it cannot be misinterpreted. Do I actually do this? Hell, no. I am the QUEEN of cryptic and in turn, I take what ___ does/writes and make it fit what I need, but still – my sister is setting the example. From another, I am learning the art of looking at many differing possibilities; that is X doesn’t work, Y might very well so. From my lesson today, I learned about the mirror: that which I am seeing in another (yes, I’m talking about you, ya fucker) are characteristics I carry myself. (!!!) However, I’m changing that. I am taking steps to rock my world wide open in ways I have never experienced before and the mission takes off on Wednesday. I also learned that being naked at a hot spring in the daytime is just as incredible as at night.
I have been on 3 dates in my life: one was a movie date from a guy in college. Epic fail. The other two were blind dates on the same day – one for lunch, one for dinner. They didn’t “fail” but I was not very impressed, thus, no more “dates” for me. This second go-round on Match has been interesting. I am meeting with several men for coffee. It makes me nervous, but what the hell. I like coffee, I like men. Right??
This weekend I was heaven – lovely Calpine, CA with my musical family at a little fest called Hips High Camp. I asked for help (a little) for the things I needed help with, I learned, from Colleen last week about strengthening my abs to help my back, I LIVED with ice packs on my back (I had dry ice in the bus’s cooler) and Chad made sure I had chairs in the front for the Hips shows. I’m so, so thankful to everyone.
I also created many new friendships and nurtured others. I learned things about people. For example, a man I have said “hi” to for years showed me his AMAZING laser device which was the topic of many conversations this weekend. He is brilliant!! I finally met someone I have “known” on FB for years who lives in Portland. I met a most precious woman who moved to the East Coast to help her grandmother and on and on and on. I learned I really don’t have to be afraid of people. Not these people, anyway. So many look at me and think I’m so confident and unafraid, when in reality it is REALLY difficult to do all these things (which is everything) by myself. Hence, I never dated and took the easy way out; I merely latched onto a relationship. Well, that shit is about to change. I love meaningful weekend days such as this one, capped off by nights of rocking with my favorite band. Maggie is right – I can’t leave California because of my Mother Hips…right??
Picture: a child’s bicycle at Calpine fest.
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