I see my death just about every day. Usually it’s a car accident: I easily envision the car driving towards me in the opposing lane swerving, hitting me, or a vehicle from nowhere suddenly T-boning the driver’s side of the car I’m driving. My brain creates these accidents so quickly and easily – I’m amazed with the complex descriptors (vivid colors, sounds, smells). I hear metal crunch, glass shatter, smell the oil and rubber. I feel my body being broken, too. I can smell blood. All of this in a few seconds. Then the car passes and that death ends – until the next one. This has been going on for years with me. I have more “control” when I’m driving the vehicle, because I am such a hyper-vigilant driver, but I know the truth of how little control I actually have. I am proud of how far I have come: 20 years ago I was terrified to drive; 15 years ago I had panic attacks while driving in L.A. traffic (do you know how slow L.A. traffic is??). Now? I can flip a u-turn in San Francisco and parallel park like a pro.
Physi
cal therapy this morning (where I met a feisty older woman from Transylvania) and within hours such pain in my back.
Work today became paradise when Carrie walked in and asked if I wanted nachos for lunch. This occurred AT THE SAME MOMENT I was reading an email from Melissa in Santa Cruz about Conrad’s nachos – this being their official Nacho Day. Talk about coincidence. Wait a minute – there is no coincidence – that is God and God loves nachos.
I am quickly realizing my chances of meeting someone I am attracted to on Match is slim to none. I’M STILL GOING TO DO IT! I WILL STILL MEET MEN, but sweet GOD change up your profiles a little bit.
It began when I saw Ang and Kelley writing about Shakedown Street – <interest peaked>, but my back was raging. This can’t be another Furthur experience where the band stops touring/playing, right? I’ll go another time. HOWEVER! My Hipnic husband later mentioned the plan: tacos, pre-party and then pit tickets for Dead & Co. Yes, temps will be in the hundreds (hence my dream of living closer to the Bay Area) but I’ll be with MY PEOPLE!! <happy dance to Shakedown Street>
Picture: Pit tickets with my people. ❤