Awoke with the darkness as it began its departure for the day. Rough night as I imagined what The Boy had experienced and how difficult it was for him to tell me about the locker room/lock situation. To us – to those of us who have no issue speaking out and asking questions/asking for help, this is truly no big deal, but to kids like Ethan who suffer so incredibly when it comes to such scenarios, well, it’s a different world to be sure. I had my first client up in Camino at 8:30, so we had to hustle, and despite having succumbed to Ethan’s request for an energy drink (I know – don’t say it, but he hates coffee), I had to drop him off at school, giving him $5 for Power-Aide.
Once at work, the second stress factor set in: Very Difficult Situation along with trying to get students accommodated so they don’t miss specific classes. I re-framed the situation – I am experiencing ‘stimulated’ feelings, they are simply viewed as stress rather than excitement, joy, love, etc. and I tried accepting the feelings as they were. It didn’t necessarily work, but maybe I’ll continue to try to feel the feelings (lots of emphasis on “feel”).
Late hours at the school, once again I was among the last to leave, but that’s ok – L had the kids, which meant I had time to do the things I needed to do. First involved a grocery store purchase near the alcohol aisle, which was like a walk of shame: I bought Ethan a 4-pack on Monster. This was horrific for me, trust me. Next I stopped to check out the price of a few things, then…home – the long way, the slow way. I stuck my arm out of the window, turned off the radio and felt the wind blowing my arm.
At home I did stupid stuff like unloaded the dishwasher. No kids would be home till after 6, so I watched Sherlock and contemplated the day. I realized that my stupid Match thing isn’t over until October. I thought I was halfway through already, yet surprisingly I’m just a month and change in. I will finish it, but man, this is lame.
Mags was dropped off soon, and it wasn’t long until Ethan was finished with his (self-chosen) after-school commitment. Surprisingly, he wasn’t overly angry about the alarm clocks dad bought the two of them (so their phones are turned in at 10). As for school, it is the 6 weeks of normalization, just like all those years in Montessori – it’ll take him a minute to get on board, but as long as he doesn’t build a wall in his mind of how much he “hates” it, he’ll be ok. I hope. This place provides Ethan with so much and I really think he could do well here.
Picture: It was one of those dinosaur-leaning-against-the-tree-for-support days.
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