They’re baaa-accck…my 4 in the morning wake-ups, when I think about things I cannot possibly solve at that particular moment. This nights’ issue first issue was the beach trip the kids are having on Saturday with friends – I imagined a car of 10 children plus driver with children piled everyone and no seatbelts fastened. Add in my traditional daily life-threatening car-accident image and my heart was beating far too fast for sleep. Next issue was the Ween concerts I’m going to in October with my Hipnic Site 9 crew – I barely know Ween! What will I do?! I could be studying for my law and ethics exam, instead. Next issue was my lost safety deposit box key, followed by some “why am I still single?” thoughts, then rotate
back to the kids all piled in the car without proper safety belts. This went on for two hours and it wasn’t long before my alarm buzzed to let me know my hours of “peace” were over. As soon as Maggie awoke, I asked her the car arrangement plans and of course, they are safe, legal and proper. Yep…that’s a snapshot of my “night of action.”
I dropped my kids of at their schools and wished them a fun weekend. I am glad they will be back Sunday night. A weekend for me is perfect – studying and tarantula-caret remodeling (please recall my previous “why am I still single?” thought – question answered). My plans for my day off, however, involved things revolving work, which is good…I’m growing my brain. First stop was a very special coffee date with a gentleman who taught what I am trying to learn…he is a retired doctor of psychology and has forgotten more than I’ll ever know. To converse with this man and hear anecdotes is incredible: talk about metamessage. I could easily double our 2 hour meetings. I have had the honor of surrounding myself with individuals who are among the best in this craft and I am doing my damnedest to follow their lead. I was at a crossroads yesterday – the opportunity to go where I could increase my pay yet the experience would not be the same. Today the Universe said no, that I need to be at New Morning to learn so that I may become more like my teachers. Many of my former classmates are already building their private practice (which is fantastic, of course), but I’m not there yet. I need much more time in the trenches so I can learn more, glean from my teachers and build my craft. My teachers (and I have several) have no idea how grateful I am.
Back to work for a very special session, and as I waited, I did a bit of re
ading from our “Incredible Years” book (this is a parenting class for parents of kids 3-8 years old). I think I’m a pretty damn good mother, yet within 3 pages I learned so many more ways in which I could improve upon parenting. The not-so-subtle messages we send our kids simply by adding the word “okay?” to the end of the question is dumbfounding – and it is SUCH A HABIT! Soon, I was allowed to sit in on a PCIT session (parent-child interaction therapy) and it was AMAZING. We sat in a room on the other side of the one-way mirror, with Maren (wearing a headset) giving instructions to the parent on how to effectively interact with her child through an earpiece the mom was wearing. This is the answer to that missing parenting manual we were never given in the hospital. I love learning.
Ok, so I buckled. There is no way in hell I could have gone another day with Mexican food, so I got a burrito (or possibly two so I could take one home in case I got hungry later, which I did. Thank Persephone for foresight). My idea is this – I can Whole30 it throughout the week, but I have GOT To fucking live a little. As I told my colleague – what if I get hit by a car tomorrow? What will life have been without one last Mexican dinner?
Home to my dogs – they enjoyed the treats I bought for them and listened appreciatively (as I choose to define it) as I practiced e minor and G Major on guitar. The analogy of cutting your way through a jungle with a machete is what I’m experiencing in many areas – work, personal and musical. I am a beginner and it is glorious. My synapses are staring confusedly at me asking “What the hell are you doing, lady?!?” and I’m laughing at them, urging them to get off their asses to get some work done. Lazy, fat synapses are such the bummer.
Pictures: Waiting for my coffee date – I actually enjoyed this one; THIS! I don’t know if it’s beginner’s luck or not, but I’ve heard horror stories of cases denied by a county, yet this is my 3rd service request and my 3rd approval! That tough case is accepted!!
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