I find it interesting how specific topics are sprinkled into life concurrently as if to say “Hey! Look at me!” This morning’s topic-at-hand was medication and the not-so-pleasant look at the importance of consistency. First, I must specify that I understand the feelings from this morning as I did the exact same thing – actually I was much, much worse. It came to light this morning after a rather unpleasant encounter with The Boy (as my brain was screaming at me “MIRROR! MIRROR HIM, you idiot! You KNOW THIS!!!” yet did I? No.) and he s
hared he hadn’t been taking his medication in a couple of months. Boom. No shit…. This explains E*V*E*R*Y single thing from the last few weeks, yet I had trusted enough that when I asked “Did you take your medicine?” and received the expected-and-given answer of “yes” that all was good. I should have been monitoring the number of the pills. I was calm for most of the conversation, although during parts my snarkiness came through loud and clear, which is soooo uncool. My weapon of mass destruction, however, was his phone, so after continuous refusals, I simply said, “Ok, then give me your phone, please. You can have it back when you take your medicine.” Within seconds the pill was down his throat.
J-Ber helped this morning in bringing my Lizzie back to the mechanic. That recent “dying” issue? I describe it to Drew, as well as another mechanic who was in there (it is an odd situation of two completely differing car problems). Fortunately I was lucky enough that despite my horrid description, the car didn’t start when he tried to start her. YAY!
I have long had a love/hate relationship with writing; it helps me process situations and goings-on while simultaneously soothing my soul. This morning, I had the tremendous honor and pleasure in chatting with a high school friend who writes books and she gave me a TON of advice and suggestions on how to go about it. I have long wanted to write my story – more as a sense of accomplishment for myself than anything, though there have been numerous comments made after I gave a brief synopsis such as, “Wow, that sounds like a movie.” Accident, booze, almost-felony #1, adoption, domestic violence relationship, exotic dancing <sigh…yes…I did th
at for a minute>, almost-felony #2, marriage as a 7th wife to someone 23 years my senior…yes, it’s all there in my head and I’d like to get it on paper. I know all of those experiences helped my trek in becoming a therapist and think that’s why I love working with the adolescent population.
While I understood I might have to pay twice for the law and ethics exam – once for MFT and once for PCC, I discovered I might actually have to take two different exams. Are you fucking kidding me?!
And now…my issue. There is a conflicting problem I have and here it is: While it isn’t a big deal to some, it is HUGE to me, because it potentially defines who I am to certain people (not to me, because I know the truth). After many years of horrible back pain and about 6 months on Norco, I am hoping there is a different solution….so I got a card. I’ve spoken to many people about CBD and how it works with pain and I’ve read lots and lots of reports and information on it. Mind you, I don’t have my sobriety hanging on the line here, because I’m not into drugs – I never was because they didn’t work for me the way alcohol did. I hated <and still hate> how weed makes me feel…I over-a
nalyze things as it is, but throw that into the mix and it’s increased to the nth degree, which is a pure nightmare. I got this card so I could get salve and CBD tincture. The doctor herself told me about a great salve, but I haven’t gotten that particular kind yet. So today, the insurance guy called because (oh my, timing as always, right?) I am changing life insurance policies and they did a blood test. I was honest with the nurse who did the physical, honest with this guy today. He didn’t seem to understand what salve was, but when I explained, “NO! I’m not smoking anything! I just got the card for the salve (cream) and tincture.” He thanked me for clarifying. So … I have a card. I do not buy weed with it (I actually was given a free joint with my first purchase and have no idea where it is because I threw it somewhere). I’ve been more worried about people’s opinions on this than just about anything. Do I still consider myself sober? I certainly do. It’s about the intent, in my book. I cannot bear the thought of several more months of this, nor of taking Norco. There it is.
Pictures: The waffle that was dropped on the floor this morning…oh it wasn’t fun; Mabi helping me study; Meditating over law & ethics
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