She took her last breath at 6:20 this morning. Des, the amazing coach at our school, let me know by text that Sabrina had died on this morning, the 7th week anniversary of
her wedding. I cannot even begin to imagine what her husband is experiencing, her brother, her parents.
So on this day of Maggie’s 13th birthday party, I did my damnedest to experience and feel as much of the day as I could. I drove the Durango, filled with girls and on the way I invited them into the lives of my own children and shared important life-lessons. The first of these were key driving points such as Drive right! The left lane is for passing; Don’t trust mirrors, always check your blind spot and The other drivers aren’t psychic, use your blinkers. I feel successful in passing on important lessons like these. Bowling was fun for the girls…at one point early on I hugged L and burst into tears. He reminded me today is a happy day so I went to wash away the tears.
The drive home was magical- a car full of girls, singing, giggling with glee, waving at other cars, it was truly a refreshing step into the past getting to sing along with these kiddos as my heavy heart mouthed the words, even though it wasn’t really singing.
I spoke with my sister – got to cry to her as I feel I can’t really turn to anyone else here. What am I going to do? Cry to my 13 year old girl? This is where hugging L today was helpful – brief as it was, and of course the timing was wrong. This is what we need as humans – we need touch and that’s one reason why I hugged the family even though the dad had no idea who I was.
The evening was spent listening to girls, chatting with my friend, and pondering – thinking of a thousand ways to make my life more meaningful from This Moment Forward and yet – does that ever happen? For someone like me, it is doing the Next In
dicated Thing…trying to think one thought at a time and moving forward. You can’t STOP to try to make life be more, because it IS more. It simply requires us to become more aware and appreciate that which is given to us with every morning. Some days are shitty. Others are glorious…most of them fall somewhere in between, but this is where we can take a few moments to appreciate them. This evening I committed to making a change in my life. I’d like to get back to a more active lifestyle, so I plan to get moving, to live more than I have been as of late. I am also going to appreciate those in my life more because they can slip away…just like that. Rest well, Sabrina. Your life was short, but you impacted so many in such an incredible way.
Pictures: Bowling fun
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