October 26, 2016

I awoke at 1 in the morning…pain, you know.  And then, I could not fall back asleep, so I pondered and contemplated.  Soon, I had one revelation after another until I was revelating alimg_3609l over the place. For example, I read the people who have many pillows were sad and depressed.  “Bite me, motherfucker.” she said, from her 5-pillowed bed.

I thought about my as-of-late (last 5 years?) sugar issue.  Things were on balance (somewhat, when I was able to get out and hike, run, push myself.  Lately?  I feel like hell, I hurt and as a solution, I eat more sugar.  I was feeling pretty helpless until my reality hit me:  I am a badass!  I gave a child up for adoption because I knew I could not provide for him.  I quit drinking.  I quit smoking 2 packs a-day cold turkey.  I started rock climbing because of my fear of heights.  I learned scuba diving because I want to explore.  So absolutely I can quit eating sugar for a month, because I am determined to get rid of these boobs.

Up the hill to my little one.  On the way, I phoned in about my MRI results and heard they received everything yesterday afternoon, but she needed to wait until the doctor saw them and would call me then.  Client and I enjoyed the outside.  I figure I am going to walk more, since at this point I can’t injure myself much worse after yesterday’s flying gazelle act.  .  I got a running app recently to learn how to run “most effectively,” though I have yet to do so.  It seems I may have to become a runner again for a little bit. Down the hill, no word from Doc, to the other school for group and individual, no word from Doc, back to work, no word from Doc. Dammit, Doc, dammit!  Ate lunch, saw two clients then on my img_3605way to TB test.  I called Doc again.

I have 2 ruptured discs and a tear!  This is the best bloody news I have had in a long time.  For YEARS I have experienced pain on and off, and while I am terrified of any surgery in which there is no take-home treat (a baby), I am in!  I am scared. I’ve not been in the hospital since Ethan, and before that, my car accident.  I asked L if he’d give me a ride.  He responded “possibly.”  Score.

Home to my babies.  Ethan and I worked more on his homework, then we cooked dinner together.  He uttered these words: “I LOVE high school!”  I wouldn’t kid about that shit.  Mags was busy practicing her ukulele.  I continuously said things like “I’m so excited…” and “I’m so happy!!”    I know this doesn’t sound like a good thing considering I was immediately referred to surgeons (it is clearly no coincidence that I am watching Scrubs), but I am so excited that there is a solution to this pain.  Every 6 years or so my back goes bad again, but hopefully this will be it.  I’m a little concerned for CRB, Hipsmas and my sister visiting for Christmas, plus how the hell am I supposed to stop carrying 40 pounds to work every day?   I’m sure it will all work out.

Pictures: An unintentional office shot;  A shot of office trees for J-Ber.

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