Horrible, horrible dreams which touched upon my insecurities that I am not good enough and never will be. These revolved around work and my romantic life…both areas where I question myself and my abilities a great deal. I do realize (with my head) that it is all as it should be. As for my heart? Well…. (this means that I am in another one of my “my-god-I-want- to-fall-in-love-and-be–fallen-in-love-with” moods).
It is these points in my life where I wish to reclude (a new verb I just created meaning “the act of reclusing” , which is also a new definition). I consider deleting my FB account. I consider moving to a small cottage in the midst of nowhere. This (feeling) isn’t anything new, but it also isn’t anything I enjoy. I mean for Pete’s sake, there are people with real shit happening in their lives; I read about a friend’s life, what she is experiencing and going through, then here I am being a sissy-baby about my back. I’ve experienced this 2-3 other times in my life and I know how it will be: a few more months and it should calm down (until the next time it happens). Time to suck it up. Again.
I studied for law and ethics and enjoyed the study groove. Then I got to clearing out the coffee table drawers/CD cabinet. Many CDs I shan’t ever listen to, so I out them in a pile. No use in holding on to them. Headed to meet a friend quickly then get my car checked for the horrible noise. Naturally nothing simple: It’s a wheel bearing. Of course it is. Plus I need to replace brake pads in the back (I knew that) and soon, if not now, the front brakes. Another thousand easy. Sigh…. Of course.
Today I was one of those people that makes you think “What the hell is her problem?!?” Boy and I went to Rite Aid so I could pick up meds (semi-pain meds) and there was one women already in line. The pharm tech was talking to a women in her car who was asking about Percocet/Norco her surgeon, etc. The pharm tech kept asking questions. After 7 minutes I had to sit – I can’t stand in the same place for that long. After 7 minutes of sitting on the floor (in line), I left with some grumpy comments. <sigh>.
I cooked dinner, We had a lovely time. Kids both have plans tomorrow night and I bought 
candy to man the door here (I’m not Swiss cheese this year – but shall be so next year. Remind me). I may dress up the dogs and walk them around the block if there is no rain. I was THIS CLOSE (put your thumb and forefinger very close together) to hiking in the rain today, but I figured it wasn’t a very smart idea. Hopefully soon.
Pictures: The clouds today after our beautiful, beautiful heavy rainfall. I hate blue skies.; Ethan hung up his old jersey in honor of his coach who died recently. ❤ SPT #BeGreat
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