A tan Hummer with roaring red brake lights. Over and over again, I saw that and the white concrete barrier as I tried to go to sleep. I could see myself from over my right shoulder, screaming and struggling to regain control of the car, while simultaneously completely letting go of myself. Maybe that’s why I was unharmed. I eventually did fall asleep and slept with no recollection of dreams and when I awoke, I had no memory of yesterday for the first seconds. Then my body kicked in, sorely, and I remembered.
I learned of other bad news yesterday, something which seems to tie in so succinctly with losing my Mother Hips bus yesterday (though it happened several weeks ago). I don’t want to spill the beans, but if you want to know, just message me. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Fuck.
All those times I worried about rolling the bus…. Maggie told me last night (or maybe this was a dream?) she had imagined me yelling “lean!!!” when the bus rolled, as I did when the kids were with me and we’d hit a curve. Nope. I didn’t tell “lean!”, I just screamed. I recall hearing my squeaky cry, squeaky because I was intubated during my coma long ago, and my voice has never recovered. I hugged her the fiercest this morning, telling her how MUCH I would have missed her had I died. These kids. They are working on finishing up their “at home” time, practicing independence for a date not-too-long in the future. My god, but I will miss their presence. 
I called the CHP and have them my insurance number, then I called insurance to file a claim. I’m fully covered, and the engine is FINE! It’s just the side that is banged-up and scratched. I called Kombi Haus, but the owner was at a family event. So, more naproxen and muscle relaxer, and off to bed.
Muscle relaxers suck. I don’t know why I held on to these, they make me feel like an incompetent wet noodle. Bruises on my legs are beginning to show, but everywhere else, I’m ok. My sternum hurts, but no visible signs. Damn. 65 mph to zero in a few feet. What a lucky human I am.
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