This morning wasn’t any better and if anything, was worse. It was so bad, I had to have my daughter steer on our way to high school because I couldn’t trust myself.
Once at work (safely), I was emotionally exhausted and burst into tears. The last two weeks, the sensitivity has been increasing and every day I drive to work, since my sick hours have been used and there are clients who must be seen, I feel as if I’m jumping into the shark tank without a cage. It’s fucking terrifying, driving your child to school then heading East, towards that glowing Ball of Death hanging in the sky.
Wednesdays are usually supervision days, though this morning we had a staff meeting during my time for individual. I was convinced the program manager was speaking to me when s
he spoke of low productivity and was positively delight when I saw in the stats sheet that I’m hitting the mark. It’s also time for self evaluations, and the stats numbers made me realize (though my previous supervisor called this to my attention) that I have very high expectations of myself. You know what? I’m glad! Every day I am surrounded by some incredible individuals who i part so much knowledge that I feel I walk amongst giants. Expecting a lot from myself is the least I can do.
As I left work for my hair appointment with my favorite hair stylist ( who is also a friend and we’re gonna go see Stone Temple Pilots together!), I 
spoke with a Dude at the corporate office of my eye place. Seems taking this long to heal
while becoming increasingly more sensitive is not the norm, so I’ll be going again. I’m glad. I can’t handle this.
Which brings me to my final of my 5-a-Day: I spent the evening in the court system this for a teen court session. It is always interesting for me to see this side of the system for the young ones, rather than simply the end result of juvenile hall. Teen Court is much different, where guilt of a lesser crime is already agreed upon, and the jury decided upon a consequence. I find these are terrific avenues to hopefully veer young offenders away from more serious crimes. The sad part being, many who are in the juvenile hall system are there because their support system at home is lacking while I saw many involved parents and adults at Teen Court. At home, my finished split pea soup awaited me, as my beloved children and I went our separate ways to bed, I was ever so grateful for the family I have been graced with.
Pictures: A note a colleague placed on my desk at work. I really needed this. Worker-people – you are awesome, too!; Inside the Cozmic Cafe where a chai latte was my reward; Placerville’s tree overlooks the court house. Split pea soup.
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