Another hamster on the hamster wheel that is Humanity, but that’s ok, as long as my hamster wheel gives me a sense of meaning and purpose. Today my hamster wheel spun madly as I did my best to keep a steady foot and not trip.
I managed to get a great deal of things organized in the mental health office at juvie. Yesterday, the new mental health director had come down from Tahoe and cleaned out a great deal of this individual’s personal items to save me from the emotionality of it (it had been a difficult session on Friday when I told the kids of her sudden death and I was dreading going through her things). For this, I was extremely grateful.
In going through many of the papers, I noticed discrepancies, similar to those I found after my fathers passing; numerous copies of an ostensibly frivolous document, odd and seemingly out of place items. I despise not knowing facts and leaving my suspect mind to fill in the details.
I am often labelled as “authentic” which means I can’t bullshit my feelings. Generally this a good thing, unless I happen to not care for someone, in which case I can.not do that superficial act. I’m civil. I don’t throat punch anyone, but I can’t do the whole smiley-face-oh-I’m-terrific-how-are-YOU thing. I also don’t hide these facts from my kids. Maybe this is an inappropriate lesson to model, though I do openly and honestly admit my faults to them. I just can’t do it any other way, it wouldn’t be authentic. 😉
I’m that person that puts on my blinker in a circular driveway.
Picture: Night-time wicked tree
tribeoftrio.com 