Endings. They’re much easier when you aren’t aware of their arrival. These past days, I have been in mourning as I simultaneously celebrated my Best Day, which transpired as an oxymoronic feeling, to be sure. Two days ago, while dropping Mags off, I knew something was wrong at her school and asked her to text me when she learned what it was. A few hours later, she texted me about a fatal solo vehicular accident which had taken the life of a star athlete at school. Devastating permanent endings.
This morning, I wept as I shared my final car ride to school with Ethan. He has his license (as well as a truck in the wings he doesn’t know about) and I’m soon moving to begin my new life with my husband. Someone who doesn’t know me recently commented that Derek was “tearing my family apart.” Oh, how I beg to differ! My goal since the day my children were born has been to make them self-sufficient and independent, able to build strong relationships with the people in their lives. Despite the friendship their father and I continue to have after our divorce, he has not been able to spend daily life with them. Now, thanks to Derek, my children and my ex-husband have the opportunity to grow their relationship. Healthy endings and silver linings.
Beginnings. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” My children are adolescents. They are responsible, capable, mature. Now, as my dear colleague Ruth stated, it’s my turn. Derek trusted me to plan our wedding, despite never having met my music family. He’s accompanied me to a few Hips shows, yet Hipnic is a different breed, by far. The individuals I have met through this band touch my spirit in ways I have never experienced before. I try desperately to explain this to the band members, as do other fans, the magic they have bestowed upon us,their fans, but I’m not sure they’ll ever be able to understand. 
And thus, I whisked my love away to Hipnic in the glorious redwoods of Big Sur, knowing it wouldn’t be too long until he fell under the spell of my people. Midway through, he pulled me to the side and told me we needed to do this every year. Well, duh! This is my 6th year- the only reason I wasn’t along earlier was because of cash flow.
Under the glorious Mother Redwood and her children, Derek and I sealed our love in front of our family, for they have embraced him as readily as they did me. A few souls important to me were not present, yet I carried them with me. In a few short weeks, I move back to Texas, ready to experience a different land from the one I left with a man I’ve reconnected with. Beginning anew.
Pics: Ethan walking to the car; cake cutting victories.
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