When I 
was a very little girl, I learned, correctly or not, that the fine whisps of hair framing my small face were known as “baby hair.” Have an infant sister, I made the assumption that these leftover locks on my head were the same as those that barely covered the scalp of my precious sibling. I made sure to point mine out to every one, so they could also see that I was just as cute as she was, only… I was older.
I point this out as I spend the days in comparisons: sometimes with envy, sometimes with empathy. I feel the hamster in my head continuing the spinning, spending ferocious energy at this, as I admonish or ally. And it’s okay.
The difference between that 5 year old and the 46 year old is that at such a young age, I had no idea of my worth; I felt my value came from the 
attention of others, and sadly this was my belief until about…my mid-thirties. Much of this was internalized from some mysterious source, but I feel it gave me much in terms of “Einfühlung” or stepping into another’s feelings.
Much of the news in recent days has brought me to another place. One that no longer carries any shame, or guilt, or fear, but again empathizing with\understanding women who’ve been forced to realize that the society they are a part of will simply not value their worth. What angers me, what ENRAGES me, is the constant, consistent, cyclical re-victimization that women (and men!) experience FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! I’m not even taking about reports to law enforcement and or 
trials (which rarely happen). I mean every.day.triggers: a sound, a smell, a word, a place. Every time there is a news story, haunted memories that have been pushed so ferociously to the back of the brain are brought to the forefront all over again. And people have the gall to ask, if it really happened, why didn’t she report? Why is she waiting til now?
I experienced such violence. Some of the reasons I didn’t report were because a) one of the rapists (there were 2) was the son of well-to-do people my dad was friends with and I knew no one would believe me, b) I felt ashamed, c) I knew I would get in trouble, but there many additional, unspoken reasons. Later, in Southern California, I worked at a rape crisis center as a SART (sexual assault response team). It wasn’t fun, but it was VERY necessary. My request is this: PLEASE stop assuming these reports are false. Wait. The truth (whether you like it or not) will come out. Please understand there are a LOT of damaged people on this Earth. A lot. Also, don’t get all your news from ONE source, remember that media are looking for viewers and will often sensationalize what they can. I try to stick to news sources in the center of the liberal/conservative bell curve, and read from multiple sources, several not based in this country. Listen when someone says something – Just listen. Please. #dontbeanotherassholeinalonglineofassholes
Pictures: Every few weeks, I come up with words; These words on abuse are taken from TheHealthyPlace; Statistics from RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. Look here for more information on the severity of the problem in this country. https://rainn.org/statistics
tribeoftrio.com 