Wednes
days are tough days for me because they drain me emotionally. I am not exaggerating in the least when I think about the physiological change my body and mind endures during and after sessions. “There but for the grace of God, go I”. Preach, John Bradford.
Somewhere around mid-day I had to fetch a son. My son. He has texted at 1o:30 last night asking if he could come over here because it was quiet, he had hot tea made for him (I make us lemon/honey tea), and some such-forth. Well, of course! I picked up The Boy, dropped of The Boy (and made myself some strong coffee which did nothing to help me) before returning to work.
The second half of the tough day. I am so fucking grateful for the life I lived and the life my kids have lived. I knew I was loved – my kids know they are loved, yet we are no
t all so fortunate. It was while I was gathering info on kids I’ll meet tomorrow for the first time that I received a text from The Boy: “I’m sorry for doing this to you but I’m feeling much better and would like to go back to daddy’s.”: Awwww, boyyyy. It’s ok –I’ll have them for a while, plus I’ll be out all day tomorrow with a lot of clients, so I told him I’d pick him up shortly.
I picked up Ethan and we headed to eat dinner. As we headed to his dad’s, I asked again – as I have for years – about Frank Hannon’s house. “Well, turn around” he said. And I FINALLY SAW IT! Well, the fence, I think. I h
ave twice taught my kids how to secretly-yet-effectively stalk famous musicians when we saw Frank in the Safeway and tonight my son showed me his home (fence). The circle is complete.
Ever-so-exhausted, I managed not to fall asleep as I dropped Ethan off at his dad’s and headed home. One.More.Thing: finish up the treatment plans for tomorrow’s early meeting and for this, I called the Mighty Susan. It is getting easier – it isn’t such a mad mixture of flotsam and jetsam anymore – now I hear the newer people struggling as I did (and still often do, but I almost know which way is up, so it is a bit easier). Within a short 45 minute span, I was finished and sat down to my new show. I really want a MouseRat Tshirt. Annie was outside barking her head off at deer. It was dark, so I went outside on the deck, naked as a jaybird, to call her up. She didn’t listen (I think I named her the wrong name) so I had to go put on a robe and shoes to go get her. Clothes are so stupid.
Pictures: Breakfast; Soooooooon!; An undisclosed fence in an undisclosed area of an undisclosed famous musician who may have been mentioned earlier. Maybe.
-wan-won which makes for a pretty kickass Tuesday-start, if I do say so myself, which I just did. The kids did no-packing prep and are off to dad’s for a few days, so somehow I’ll have to gather stuff for them <inner-control freak rejoice!)
A beautiful dream…about happiness, my heart was light and joyous. Those are such terrific nights to have. Early up and both kids were still sleeping – I hoped Ethan was feeling better since we had scuba tonight.
y forgetfulness is scary now – I worry about living alone when the kids are gone. Hopefully Siri on iPhones will work much better and she can remind me that I’m cooking (which I forget constantly) or left the grill on o clean.
mento drowning accident rescue team (DART) and is a terrific guy. His girlfriend is a sweetheart, too. We went through the review – everything went well and I was assured by him that we probably won’t die. Always good to hear. He told us to come hang out on the boat and we’d go over some more advanced stuff this summer. What a terrific plan! I love these 4 day weekends… Today was the Sundayest Monday I’ve had in a while.
ened to special coverage on NPR. I want to go, get out, move away, go somewhere else! I can’t handle living in a country where the NRA bans research on gun violence. How is that even possible? Why is there such a stranglehold on this nation? And then I started thinking – I have to get licensed first, I’m here for 5 more years, Bridge, lady, be a goddamn bridge. Besides – trauma therapy – this is what I want to specialize in, and so….
I learn. We put on some tunes then sing to each other, dance with each other as we continue cleaning.
repare Lizzie for Quincy. We painted; we found my kick-ass copper lights that never made it to Hipnic (next year), we came inside and cleaned up dinner mess – joking, enjoying, loving each other. Ethan slept. The bottom line is this – it shall not change. This is Life – a constant ebb and flow of conflict and unity – peace and war. It will not change and while many speak of learning from history, we do not, because we are not our ancestors. Much like children, we don’t believe you that the fire is hot, despite your constant warnings and proof of your scarred hands – we need to touch it on our own and experience the pain. The idea that we can learn from history is inconceivable, because we are those children…trying desperately to prove how grown-up we actually are. So I will do the best thing that I can do and teach my children to not KILL or RAPE people. I will teach them EMPATHY and COMAPSSION – to ACCEPT others, despite difference. I will LOVE my children. Ethan woke up.
ual things – and there it was – the Victoria’s Secret bag and sure enough, there was my wallet. Yoga, pushups, workout and I was off to Accomplish.
rather than simply going through the motions. This is good stuff.
several more stores(nope, nope, nope) and finally discovered Macy’s with an entire little store only for swimsuits! I found a few I fit in and bought a bikini. This is more clothes-shopping than I have done in years. I am generally a throw a few tshirts cart and I’m good, yet notice I am beginning to change my attitude towards clothing and how I present myself. 44 and I could finally be growing up.
and we danced like we were at a club (as much as one can in a car). It feels good to be like this with my kid. When we got home, I threw on the Flo-Rida/Pitbull and we danced more before Maggie made these killer cupcakes (it’s all Susan’s fault). I have to remember: bikini, bikini, bikini.
On this morning, yoga was something that suddenly became a part of me, moving me from the inside. It was, for lack of a more descriptive word, so intoxicating! I felt the poses move through my core and I stretched so thoroughly…I was exhausted when it ended, yet so invigorated. I generally dread morning sessions, though I am always appreciative of having done it once it is over, yet today – I think it’s my best chandra namaskar since I began years ago.
e edge) and he told me that when he was little, he lost control on a bicycle and had to quickly decide on options: head into a pile of brush or go over the edge. Amazing connection – this kid and I.
nto work to the “other” office – Wednesdays I’m down the hill, and as sure as can be, as soon as I pull into the driveway at the office I get the text of “oh no! It is —’s birthday and so clients will not be in session today!” Ummm…couldn’t this have been mentioned last week when I asked about summer schedule so we could plan sessions? The silver lining here was a terrific talk with Jenni.
do. I’d spent the whole day sick in bed, so the last thing on my to-do list was to pop up the hill to Sly Park with food. He wouldn’t die. Then he called from the school cell-phone, the Big Guns, so I headed to Chipotle. The car – of course – was out of gas, and the gas station next to Chipotle was shut down, so I picked up the and headed to the next station – which wouldn’t accept my credit card. I found a third gas station, filled up and drove up the lake. The instructions he gave me to find his camp site were horrible, soon I was driving around an empty campsite in the gloaming, almost into the lake, frustrated as hell. Eventually, I foundhim and dropped off the food. I don’t know what the whole story was, if they really did, in fact, run out of food, I just knew I felt miserable and wanted to get home.
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