tribeoftrio.com

This morning, after a weekend of having my ass kicked from a new pain med, I had to fast for my physical (changing life insurance companies).  This is not a big deal for me – I simply enjoyed the seltzer water instead of coffee.  When I opened the door, I saw Nola – a woman I had known in a different lifetime when my children were (literally) babies, I was married, I had my own certified small business locating, verifying and consolidating authoritative information for individuals around the globe.  Nola was in the midst of her career.  I can’t speak for her but I have made two career changes since that time.  It was amazing to see her – this woman from a whole different part of my life.  What a nice reality check.

Supervision (group) at eleven, only – there is no more “group”: I am the only intern still needing this type of supervision.  Two points of view:  Yay, me!  I get more solo-time from Susan which means I can delve further as there is no time constraint – however…there is also no comparison of “notes”  or “modalities.”   One of the most precious things to me here is hearing how others work with their clients.  I love our therapist-office discussions…

..although today – WOW.  Discussion was based on more “personal” issues, namely dating/men/online dating (I promise, I did NOT start this conversation)– and ooohhh, how I could dive right into this shit.  We are humans, we are sensual beings, our bodies long to be touched, held, caressed (just repeating what a colleague was sharing).  This colleague shared how making love as a male in his 40s differs so much from a male in his 20s –  and then proceeded to describe things like treasuring the smell of her neck, the touch of her skin.  I almost had to excuse myself( I wish I were kidding).  To be fair – I followed the advice and today wore a very clingy dress.  It looked pretty ok.  Weird – how I am no longer comfortable in dresses when I used to be….  I used to flaunt myself about.  I think it’s this extra “me” I am carrying, which yes, makes me more “curvy”, but I preferred the B-cup look.  Following this mindset, I later challenged a client to go outside her comfort zone:  client does “this”, and I will, for the next 2 days, wear dresses.  #itsateameffort

Mags was having friends over to spend the night so I..headed to get burritos for Ethan and me (!!) and then to pick up pizza for Mags and her crew. Second meeting with someone from my past! This one was a sophomore at the high school when I worked there (is a senior now) and remembered me vividly as we often spoke.  She explained how the school has changed in terms of staff. They have no homework – there is a half hour built into their block schedule for working on it.  I brought it up to Ethan later, but even after only 3 days (HOLY FUCK – this has been the LONGEST school week ever!!), he said he wants to stay at Pondo. <yay!>

And so – to summarize: Not a word from Dude since last Thursday night.  Today, as I blocked him (closure for me) I received a text from him.  My thoughts are this:  A) We have nothing “between” us, yet leaving me hanging mid-sentence in our convo is not really cool.  This is not how I want to “potentially start” a relationship (boundaries!); He may have a “high-profile career” but that doesn’t give you the right to be (at best) inconsiderate and at worst, an inconsiderate asshole (more boundaries!!).  I did respond to the text (because I’m not “that way” – but with “Hello.  Wasn’t expecting to hear from you again.”  This is bad, right?  This is ok?  Opinions?  Anyone?  There are more dates on the horizon(not with him) , but I have certainly mellowed in my expectations and I am more wary now than before (and I was pretty wary); this bullshit “hopeless romantic” side has got to go.  I won’t delete the account again (though I have considered it) but after the 3 months is up, I am out. If I cannot “find” anyone, then I don’t find anyone,  that simple.  Yes, I get unbearably lonely at times, but I also know without question that I shall not “be” in a relationship if it isn’t right.  I can affirm that currently I am not spitting in men’s faces, I am not scratching my crotch on dates and then shaking their hands, I wear acceptable clothing and engage in thoughtful, intelligent conversation.  If there isn’t a “match”,  it isn’t because of me, it’s because it isn’t right..     On another, more cheerful note, I STILL haven’t gotten my China Cat Sunflower signed and numbered poster from Fare Thee Well (which I did attend).  It was supposed to be here Monday and has been in West Sac since early a.m. that day.  Yesterday morning, I wrote DHL a letter of excitement and joy because I knew I would be getting the poster on the anniversary of Jerry’s death.  This afternoon, I sent a mean email containing such phrases such as “Your service is deplorable” and “your customer service is reprehensible!”, finishing the letter off with “I shall tell all my friends to use other delivery methods”.  I was pissed.  5 minutes after that, however, I modeled to the children that my behavior was wrong and I should have paused in my action before sending the email.  Later, when they were in bed, I re-wrote DHL and apologized for my 10 year old’s behavior of voicing my frustrations by using this week’s spelling words.  #damnkids

Pictures: Another reason why I love this Boy: he allows me to do this.  On the night of his birth, I held him in my arms and we had a long talk about his life.  I re-live this moment quarterly with him; bubble blowing for deep breathing exercises with my client.  She blew 2 “bubble in a bubble.”

It was overcast this morning – what a glorious promise of a good day.  Mags and I headed to New Morning to pick up the coupons from Ruth – Macy’s.  I’m intending on going hard core with these “fancy girlie-things.”  We then wooshed by Shannon and Eric’s to grab my GoPro so I can film the Hips tomorrow.  All of Dead & Co. losses are home again.  We got to Macy’s before 10:30, and then….

I got busy.  I haven’t ever shopped like this ever.  I was prepared, even bringing Mags with me for support (and assistance, to be honest).  After about an hour or so, I purchased 5 items. 3 dresses, a pair of slacks and a nice knit top.   The computer, of course, kept crashing with me – so we stood there for 30-45 minutes easily, then headed to sit somewhere so my back could recharge.  I had to take a norco – then later took another when the first did nothing to help. Mags did some shopping in a few stores as I’d sit and hurt.  Soon enough, though, the medication kicked in a bit and the pain lessened.

Mags and I walked around again, back into Macy’s (I was getting such terrific deals that I needed to look for some jeans, which I haven’t purchased in about 4 years) when we stopped in front of a booth.  “I’d definitely have sex with him…” I said, perhaps a little too loudly.  “With him?!?!” Mags said, looking at the security guard with his tight biker pants and his walkie talkie/bike helmet on.  “No, Maggie with him!” laughingly pointing to a picture of Johnny Depp.   For those of you shocked I’d say something like this to my daughter, please understand that she realizes I am kidding around, but also that we have a very transparent relationship about sexuality.  Does this mean that I let her know about my sex life (well, the one I had long ago)?  Absolutely not, but I do make it an oft-discussed topic so when things do begin in their lives, they hopefully will feel a little more comfortable in talking to me.  We headed back to the clearance section and I bought a few more things – once again the damn computer jammed with me ( 3^rd time – only with me), but I walked away with 2 new pairs of jeans and some tops.

We got home where I headed right to the icepacks, going to my room.  L had called, asking if we were home so he could drop off the lumber for Ethan’s soon-to-be work bench.  I carefully helped him unload and he asked about my dating.  I told him about it- and that really, I didn’t see much hope in it.  I told him about DudeGuy, yet our conversation ended abruptly last night when he never responded (which I understood) yet there was never a follow up…not today, either, and this is a man who told me if work called him away he would respond later.    So it seems there is something about me that doesn’t quite work for the men I’ve met thus far.  L said when it’s the right guy, it won’t end that way, and I know that, but this is so frustrating and seemingly pointless. .  It’s ok, I answered some other query and yes, I’ll meet the next guy on Monday and then the  next guy, but really?  I hate this.

Tomorrow is Petaluma Music Fest.  Hips are playing early, which is good because the way my back is lately, I am not able to handle long periods of standing at all.  I will probably leave early and head over to Middletown to visit my friend.  This back thing, though….  Man.  I never realized how important a strong pelvic floor is to supporting the spine.  Mine has gone from pelvic floor to pelvic foam pit.  I have work to do.

Picture:  My view for much of today.

I awoke nicely, the morning was grand (as grand as pre-work-morning can be), there were some groovy CRB tunes (I love Adam’s magical notes) in the car, so why did everything seem to go south at work today?  It may have started simply because of no parking.  There is rarely parking, anyway, but with the school year starting there are all sorts of meeting being held and even less parking spots.  It could be my back (which has been aching for days) was not happy.  At any rate, the day started on a sour patch.

There are good days in session, and there are days which could be better.  Some days clients just don’t WANT to and I get that.  So I got to model the better way to behave when things aren’t going your way.  I’m not sure how big of an impact that made, but I do know that not yelling or getting frustrated is huge.  This kid lives with stress and impatience, so sitting quietly, shuffling cards and speaking gently was my answer.

The day continued along those lines – ermagerd, I just don’t even wanna think about it –  but this creates an ideal opportunity for me to show these clients (yessss… through more modeling) better ways.  It isn’t easy…we live the best we know how to – and learning new ways can be frightening.  Still…I try to plant seeds.

And then the text came through.  I am a tad ashamed to admit this, but that changed my whole day.  I really  am not that shallow, but…it has been a minute or two since I have been interested in someone and that feeling has been reciprocated.  It’s a nice feeling.  Have I been interested in any men the last however-many years?   Ohhellyes, but it was not returned to me, so I kinda like this.  I’m ready.

I headed to physical therapy for my four o’clock appointment.  Lots of pain, but also many giggles.  It would seem that the best exercises to help my back are hip raises and…kegel exercises.  Yes, folks, that area is out of shape <walk of shame>….  I picked up my Maggie and because I was really starting to hurt, we stopped for a pizza at a new little place <not a chain!> which had great pizzas.  Mags and I happily ate away to reruns of Park & Rec and then, DudeGuy started texting me.  Yay!  Tomorrow Maggie will help me purchase some girlie clothes (!!Robin!!!).  Changes are afoot.

Picture:  On the way to pick up my girl….

I am sad.  Sad that the school year begins in MOMENTS.  While not a fan of the hundred degree temps, I AM a fan of the 3 day work-week and many music fests.  Not gonna lie, Mexico wit da kiddos was grand, also.

Staff meeting this morning that we HAD to be at, so I cancelled my appointments with  clients and showed up.  There were not, however, enough people to be there for the vote, so….it was a waste (kinda, though I got some hours logged) because the clients couldn’t show up later.

Another supervision and then discussion with my colleagues about husbands paying child support, even when the wife makes 3 times as much as the husband.  I understand there are a lot of dead-beat dads out there, but there are ALSO a LOT of good ones, and screwing with them for the mistakes of others?  Not cool.  I don’t make as much as my ex, but I also do not have the bills he has.  He doesn’t pay enough support, but I’m ok with that because we have 50/50 custody and he also pays my car insurance.  We work TOGETHER for the sake of our kids, but also because we like each other and are not spiteful humans.  I’m a terrific ex-wife, gentlemen, tell all yer friends.   <grin>

Actually, this ^  is a joke. I shan’t be getting married again.

Down to the other office for my clients and building some incredible relationships with these kids – being there for them and creating space.  After months of wondering (not just with these clients but with many) if I was even accomplishing anything, I am seeing the work’s fruition:  they are trusting of me and opening up.  This is awesome.

 

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Back up the hill for microdermabrasion and a peel.  It’s been 10 months, so CLEARLY I’m not very punctual and consistent (that was excellent mircodermabrasion/peel humor).  It was so nice to see my friend again and then after, since I was in the old ‘hood, I stopped by to visit my sweet Brent.  While I am glad to be out of that house, I do so miss having him for a neighbor.  I told him to move out here – more trees, less people, less expensive water. As for DudeMan – yes we communicated, today but I am holding back in being “me” before he really gets to know me (assuming that will even happen).  This whole lie about guys liking woman who are assertive, speak their minds, and ask them out???  HA!!  The couple times I tried that I never heard from the guy again.  Plus, he is a southern gent and therefore I must revert back to my lady-like ways (yes – I can wear a dress and yes, I have been raised with cotillion in my past, so I can do this).  I am waiting for him to make the next moves.

Pictures: My client wanted to take a picture of my hands once all the sand she had placed in it ran out; This is a picture based on the children of Aleppo, Syria  who have been setting fire to tires in order to create a smoke cloud to deter Russian air strikes.  CHILDREN are doing this.  This is a group of those children.  They should be in school, learning, playing with friends…  We have no idea how lucky we are….

It’s one helluva sad day when I come to terms with the fact that I can’t even manage to turn my iPhone alarm on correctly.  Fortunately, I wake up in time – so far…but talk about living dangerously.  For one brief night I had both my kids here.

Off to work for supervision which led to some interesting and necessary topics of discussion (yes of course they were work related!) and then, right on time, my clients showed up.

Once they left, I got to work- noise cancelling headphones on and face to the computer; I was pounding away on those keys, crunching out prog notes, ignoring everything around me.  How quickly it has changed when suddenly I have more to do than my time allows.

And then, I’m off – down the hill for a coffee date.  The date I was close to canceling, because really another one?!!  I am so glad I did not.  Wow.  <wanting-to-say-so-much-but-I-will-whisper-it-into-my-pillow-tonight instead>  Not going to lie, though – a couple of hours later, that part of my brain started telling me all sorts of thing, trying to negate the experience, trying to talk me out of it – but no.  I shan’t listen.  We were kicked out at closing time (there was only an hour), so we exchanged numbers and there will be a second date.

Ok, so instead my boring settled-into-the-evening stuff, maybe I will just “think out loud” for a moment; he has similar interests, a very different job (!) but one I find intriguing, More than likely, he is much different than I am (always good), differing personality type (it’s all good), and those eyes, pure gold.  Yay.

Pictures: Not one shot snapped today. 

There it was in bold letters:  “8 Reasons Why Strong Women Face Difficulties In Finding True Love”.  A friend I used to work with posted it this morning on his page and I sensed he had posted it because of me.  I was correct in my assumptions.  I’m not sure I consider myself “strong” per se – what constitutes such a person?  Yet many of the reasons listed here I agree with;  I’m not sure men are afraid of me, but I have long had difficulties asking a man to do something which I am perfectly capable of doing myself.  I am too selective and I’m not afraid to live on my own (at all!!!), and I don’t allow myself to be an option.  Well – not since that last big fiasco (hence all this mess)` when I was the option.  Man, that hurt like hell….

Ethan had orientation today at the high school at eleven and my orientation wasn’t til noon. I tried to coordinate a time with Eric and Shannon to pick up my GoPro from the Dead & Company show (don’t ask).  I spoke with someone about the logistics of buying a house (we’ll see if that happens or not), and soon, I was off to find out info about my son starting high school.

It was really not that long ago when I walked into the Cedar classroom at CMP to find out information for my little boy to start his first day of kindergarten.  The fact that this same little big boy often comments on how quickly time passes says so much to me.  After our orientation was completed I walked out and soon found him standing alone, looking around, observing – yet differently than in the past.  He was maybe alone, but he was in the center of the activity, watching those around him.  I walked up to him and spoke with him briefly, reiterating that I needed to go – could he find a ride or walk?  He answered in the affirmative and so I left, but not before I saw him interacting with some kids at a club booth – his whole face smiling, eyes and mouth, when he responded.  My boy is going to do fine here, which is what L said as well when I relayed the happenings.  Yep. He’s gonna be ok.

It wasn’t long before I was sitting with Nicole for my hair appointment.  This is my treat every couple of months, though lately I’ve been getting a pedicure.  There is just no way I could justify getting a pedi every few weeks, but now and again, why not?  It seems I also need to “up the girly-ness” in my clothing ensemble, so…this will be a challenge.  I notice when I am at a comfortable weight (for myself), I’m all over the place in wearing “more pleasing to the eye” attire.  It’s when I’m at this weight that I like to “man” up.  Now go chew on that psych-stuff for a while…

I brought Mags to Target for our last back-to-school shopping adventure and we had such a fun time.  She is a pistol, that one.  At home, Ethan and I talked about his day and the excitement glowed in his eyes, briefly again.  He has planned out his last few days of summer with friends.  Maggie has a while – 2 weeks?  I’ll need to find out.  As for me: on this day 6 years ago, I saw my first Hips show.  My life has changed dramatically since then.  Through this band I have found some of my closest friends –  I sent Rob a note this morning, thanking him for introducing me to this band.  I have 4-6 Hips events planned in the next 6 weeks.  I hope they all pan out.  It’s also Jerry Garcia’s birthday and Swiss Independence Day (since 1291!).  What an awesome day “Erster August” is….

Pictures: My kids- Ethan at high school orientation and a convo with Maggie

For the record, I could barely walk yesterday.  When meds wear off, the pain kicks in – so when not on-line, communicating the only way I could via FaceBook or Instagram, I was sitting with my ice-pack and tens unit.  Mags told me today I could have used iMessenger on the Mac, but how am I supposed to know that when she’s not here to tell me these things?

This morning the walking went a little better.  I was determined to accomplish something, so I cleaned: vacuum, sweep, polish, dust, fold, sort, put away and lots of other verbs.  While doing so, I played both Dead and Company show – Wheatland and Shoreline – on the tv. 

I noticed my phone charge on the Find my iPhone was at a third, so I got busy – threw on some clothes and headed over to my neighbor’s home to use her phone again.  She let me take her iPhone and text Leia at Live Nation a screen shot of where the phone was. Within minutes Leia  called me back with the phone – angry that whoever had the phone had left it there instead of bringing it to admin as they should have.  I was THRILLED.  Headed to the store and bought 2 bouquets of flowers – one for Leia and one for Angela (who spent an hour at the amphitheater yesterday in the hot sun, looking for my phone) and headed out to Wheatland (Southern Oregon, as I like to call it).

And just like that, I had my baby back.  Heading to Angela’s to get my wallet (don’t ask), I heard an Air Supply song and realized I’ve been singing it wrong all these years – it is not “Even the days are brighter, when someone you love’s inside ya”, rather it’s “beside ya”.  Lame.

Picked up my beautiful daughter at her dad’s house – my god, but she is such an amazing young woman, this one.  We headed to Safeway to grab some dog food and milk, then home where our pups where so happy to see someone other than me.  Later, she wanted to put a face mask with me, so naturally as soon as I had it on my face, had Hungarian goulash heating in a pot on had my night clothes on, Ethan called for me to pick him up.  It is so, so GOOD to have my kids home!  Ethan got right to repairing things (my sunglasses, the closet doors which had rolled off the track) and sharing his stories of Florida adventures with me.  The kid starts high school in a week, My god, how did that happen??

Picture: Dead & Co say good-bye

Early alarm because, even though it is my day off, I still had to get supervision time in, so outta the house by 8:30 and off.  This is my first time with my “new” key chain and new car/house/work key.  There is the Tile – carefully monitoring my behavior.  The AA key-chain isn’t in yet, but it’ll be here soon.

I had a date (7?) in Auburn – nice enough guy, but there was no “click:” for me.  I need “click”which I had with date two.  I also had “click” with my ex-husband so many years ago.  It doesn’t mean the guy is drop-dead gorgeous or anything specific that I can name, yet there must be something about this “him” that I find attractive which interests me.  That’s ok, though, I have time.

(insert) A great picture with me backstage with John Mayer and Bobby Weir between sets

I had thought I’d wear a flow-y dress to Dead and Company, but in the end, I went in my Tom’s, white jeans, my skull t-shirt (more of a hipster Deadhead as it’s a Mexican sugar skull design).  I headed to Angela and Jarrod’s where there was a house full of people I didn’t know – yet.  I felt uncomfortable, yet knew time would change that.  What?  That’s Sabin?  I remember her from long ago at Powerhouse.  Eric and Shannon showed up?!  It’s been ages!  I know them!  Dave Moss?  Super cool!  Mind you, the last three were in the Uber ride they took, but still.  The “line of friends is beginning to grow.

(insert) A picture of me onstage with the guys singing back-up on “Row Jimmy”

I grabbed a poster, (numbered and signed!),dropped it off to the van (the car I rode in on was wayyyy out in the field).  I had (first time ever) brought a camelback which I see at many shows), but I had to empty the ice-water.  Made it a step further and nope, said I can’t bring my Go-Pro.  DAMMIT!  Headed back to the van – Angela came with because of her metal Mother Hips water bottle.  It took a while to find the driver – he was talking to another driver, but finally…..  Angela and I headed in, she got her adult beverage, I re-filled my Camelback, and the show began. I LOVED being in the pit.  No desire to ride the rails – there are people here who have put many years into these guys and it’s their turn.  Eventually we found the guys and had a glorious time. I won’t lie, was heavy duty on painmeds to help numb things out and I took it very easy .

(insert) A picture of me with Mickey Hart during “drums” 

The show was fabulous and ended too quickly.  Thoughts of going to Shoreline tomorrow entered my mind – it was early yet and I should get home around 1 or so, if everything goes according to plan…just a little walk down Shakedown Street for a trinket…which is where it all ended.  Sabin and I were almost to the car when I realized, my phone wasn’t in my purse, and at that exact moment Angela texted to say some women had my phone.  I had left it at the stand where I got my necklace.  Too much stuff in my hands and I hadn’t picked everything up.  Continuously texting my number, I finally got a response from the woman – she had talked to Jarrod and left the phone with someone at the venue. I walked with Sabin’s phone to lost and found – no phone there, so I walked back to the car and drove everyone back to the house.  I do treasure being a sober driver.  Hung out and talked a bit – listened to Steve Winwood and Eric Clapton before I headed out on the long stopping-two-times-to-ask-for-directions drive home.  I was finally home around 4-ish.  Today – I found the bldg. at the amphitheater where my phone is, but Angela, despite all her time and effort couldn’t get it because the building was locked and no one had a key.  Fingers crossed I get it in the next two days because I sure would like to communicate and learn where my kids are.

PS – The Tile doesn’t work “as well” (at all) if you don’t have the phone it is synced with.

 

I see my death just about every day.  Usually it’s a car accident:  I easily envision the car driving towards me in the opposing lane swerving, hitting me, or a vehicle from nowhere suddenly T-boning the driver’s side of the car I’m driving.  My brain creates these accidents so quickly and easily –  I’m amazed with the complex descriptors (vivid colors, sounds, smells).  I hear metal crunch, glass shatter, smell the oil and rubber.  I feel my body being broken, too.  I can smell blood.  All of this in a few seconds.  Then the car passes and that death ends – until the next one.  This has been going on for years with me.  I have more “control” when I’m driving the vehicle, because I am such a hyper-vigilant driver, but I know the truth of how little control I actually have.  I am proud of how far I have come:  20 years ago I was terrified to drive; 15 years ago I had panic attacks while driving in L.A. traffic (do you know how slow L.A. traffic is??).  Now?  I can flip a u-turn in San Francisco and parallel park like a pro.

Physical therapy this morning (where I met a feisty older woman from Transylvania) and within hours such pain in my back.

Work today became paradise when Carrie walked in and asked if I wanted nachos for lunch.  This occurred AT THE SAME MOMENT I was reading an email from Melissa in Santa Cruz about Conrad’s nachos – this being their official Nacho Day.  Talk about coincidence.  Wait a minute – there is no coincidence – that is God and God loves nachos.

I am quickly realizing my chances of meeting someone I am attracted to on Match is slim to none.  I’M STILL GOING TO DO IT!  I WILL STILL MEET MEN, but sweet GOD change up your profiles a little bit.

It began when I saw Ang and Kelley writing about Shakedown Street – <interest peaked>, but my back was raging.  This can’t be another Furthur experience where the band stops touring/playing, right? I’ll go another time.  HOWEVER! My Hipnic husband later mentioned the plan: tacos, pre-party and then pit tickets for Dead & Co.  Yes, temps will be in the hundreds (hence my dream of living closer to the Bay Area) but I’ll be with MY PEOPLE!!  <happy dance to Shakedown Street>

Picture: Pit tickets with my people. ❤

Zoom-zoom.  Off I head to that first appointment at The Different Office –  the one where no one has arrived yet, and I, I  have no keys…ummmm.  I phone my client to reschedule for the next hour and off I head to gather another key. Ohh, the humiliation.  I still hope to find my keys in the most obvious place I would never look.  Fortunately I have the Tile now – just need to set it up before I lose keys again….

I am beginning to understand – we are but minions trying to knock down a tremendous wall: a wall of (as I mentioned yesterday) ingrained cultural norms, of uninformed family members who may truly believe they are doing their best to help out when in fact they are speeding up the destruction, by individuals who are so comfortable in their dis-ease that they sabotage themselves and everything we try to do.  These are the trenches – this is where so many come to try so slow the ever-increasing speed of the whirlpool.  The stories are heartbreaking and it is day in, day out.  It certainly  changes my outlook on life.

Ok, this Match thing.  Holy fuck.  How about we use some current pictures(mine are all from the last year except for one which was taken 2 years ago).  Not even a week into dating and I’m already tired!  Other than a handful, it’s the same faces and I have less than zero interest in any of them.  I know , I know – you can’t tell unless you meet them.  I get that – but I want to venture OUTWARD – not stay here and go fishing. Yes, I like camping, but not 6 feet away from the next guy (unless it’s at Hipnic, HSMF or Hips High Camp).   I’m screwed and not in the right way.   I know this is a pathetic thing to say, but I’m never going to have sex again.  I can’t, I WON’T join the hook-up scene, and at this this rate (5+ years to get “started”) – what’s gonna happen?!  However, I never mentioned that while waiting for date number 3, another guy started talking to me.  He was parked next to me and it was kind of a cool conversation.  I didn’t get sparks, but maybe I’ll give him a call.

This time of year, whenever I hear a plane or copters I worry it’s another fire.  The temperature is so hot, poor Wicked Tree seems to be melting and the air looks like hot oven-air.  I have my thermostat set to 80 and while it accomplishes its task in my back bedroom, these pitched cathedral ceilings are an energy nightmare.  I miss little houses.  Semi-silver lining though: Mabi found the cool air from the grate and loves to lie there.

This wool rug – I’m not happy at all with it.  It was for Europe – it would have looked so perfect there, but it doesn’t fit here at all.  I’m out of sorts; I don’t belong in this house (too bit – too much), I truly didn’t think we’d still be here come July 16…and now I’m looking for a partner.  My goodness, but I move quickly, huh? I know – things are moving, I can feel it.  Defenses are dropping, I think.  But for now, since I finished Stranger Things, Sherlock awaits.

Picture: A web, Wicked Tree and Buddha contemplate life.